Apple Launches New iJohn
|Friday, 30 March 2012|
Apple Launches New iJohn
CUPERTINO, California―April 1, 2012―Apple® today announced the new iJohn. The iJohn is Apple’s latest endeavor into controlling and enhancing our daily lives. The iJohn is a magical experience for all.
“The new iJohn will take a very personal experience we encounter almost every day and turn it into a fun and productive experience for everyone”, said Phillip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Marketing. “The new iJohn is not only a beautiful replacement for a normal toilet, but it will give you a new view on doing your business”.
The new iJohn is made out of pure glass, so you can actually see within from all directions. The top of the iJohn is shaped exactly like Apple’s logo. The iJohn also features retractable USB connectors so that you can keep your iPhone or iPad charged while you discharge.
The new iJohn also includes some new Apps that Apple is providing free of charge. Crap With Friends will allow you to have fun with your friends by having different contests based on speed, size or smell (which uses the new iSmell sensor).
Another app that is included is Piss On Friends. Using the latest in hologram technologies that project any of your address book images into a 3D hologram within the Apple bowl. Using Game Center, you can compare your score with your friends to see who is pissing on you.
3rd Party developers are already hard working on compatible apps, such as Angry Poop and Feces Ninja.
Pricing & Availability: The new iJohn models will be available in clear glass on Sunday, April 1st for a suggested retail price of $499. The optional iHolder accessory uses BlueTooth 4.0 technologies to send out an iMessage to family members when the toilet paper roll is almost empty. iHolder will have a suggested retail price of $199.99
Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world, along with iJohn, OS X, iLife, iWork and professional software. Apple leads the digital music revolution with its iPods and iTunes online store. Apple has reinvented the mobile phone with its revolutionary iPhone and App Store, and is defining the future of mobile media and computing devices with iPad.
Press Contacts: John E Crapper Apple email@example.com (408) 555-5555
Apple, the Apple logo, Mac, Mac OS, Macintosh, iPad, iJohn, Retina and iSight are trademarks of Apple. Other company and product names may be trademarks of their respective owners.
For more information on the iJohn, visit http://3Gstore.com/aprilfools
|Last Updated ( Saturday, 31 March 2012 )|
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